Parenthetic Virus: Symptoms Include Chaos and a Breakdown of Law and Order, An Anology

A man visits his doctor after feeling sluggish and depressed.  He can’t shake a cold he’s been suffering with for weeks.  Now he has a fever and it keeps going up.  

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you this but you have Parenthetic Virus.

Patient: What is Parenthetic Virus?

Doctor: It’s a fatal disease where the fat cells in your body have been convinced that your immune system is unjust and your white blood cells are racist Nazis.

Patient: What? How is that possible?

Doctor: It’s common in bodies that have enjoyed lengthy periods of good health and prosperity. Eventually decadence sets in and things get a little turned around.

Patient: How can we treat it?

Doctor: Unfortunately recovery is unlikely. After years of indulgence and taking things for granted, your fat cells greatly outnumber your white blood cells. Here, look under this microscope. Those are your white blood cells over there. Their job is to defend you from disease and foreign objects. Look! They are moving in on a germ that threatens your body. Now see those angry, entitled globs of goo? Those are your fat cells.

Patient: What are they doing?

Doctor: They are surrounding your white blood cells and protecting the germ. Here, listen.

Patient: Oh my God! I didn’t know fat cells could talk. They are calling the white blood cells racists, fascists, and Nazis.  Now the fat cells are attacking them!

Doctor: Yes, they are quite aggressive. See, now your white blood cells are retreating and the germ has reproduced. It won’t be long until that germ spreads. Now you see how recovery is unlikely.

Patient: How do I get more white blood cells?

Doctor: Well, your white blood cells are produced inside your bone marrow, but if you look here, you’ll see that fat cells have taken control of your bone marrow as well. And with fat cells in control, they are unlikely to produce effective white blood cells.

Patient: I just can’t believe this. What can I do? There has to be something.

Doctor: There is one thing you can do but it is not easy and will cause much discomfort.

Patient: What? Anything.

Doctor: You have to cut the fat.

Could the Police Collective Become Politically Conscious and Politically Active?

St. Louis residents are protesting the death of a black suspect that pointed a gun at police officers. Absurd, I know – but what hasn’t been absurd over the last year?  The world has gone mad and cops aren’t the only ones who’ve felt the pain; all reasonable Americans have paid a price.

It’s time we stop pointing out absurdity and then simply scoff at it. We need to stop pretending to be dumbfounded when groups act irrationally. We know all the problems that we are facing, there is no longer any need to rationalize our anger and outrage – it’s all justified.

We need to take the next step and start figuring out what we are going to do about it. Are we just going to gripe about it on Facebook? That’ll show them. Are we going to continue to dance with kids on YouTube and grovel for understanding?

As cops, we ARE a collective whether you like it or not; a powerful, well-armed, well-trained, and moral collective (a good collective). Continue reading “Could the Police Collective Become Politically Conscious and Politically Active?”

Will Libertarianism Survive the 2016 Presidential Election?

All talk

Things will most likely change after the 2016 presidential election.  Thanks to America’s predictably bipolar political psyche, the pendulum will most likely swing back to the right and a Republican will be elected president of the United States.  So what does that mean for people like me who jumped on the libertarian bandwagon after Obama began to fundamentally transform America?

Like most conservatives, I was drawn toward the libertarian movement after Obama was elected, even though prior to his election I didn’t truly know what a libertarian was.  The forgotten rhythm of liberty and lyrics of the Constitution became music to my ears and the safest response to Obama’s meddling.  But what will happen when power is restored to the conservative Right?

Continue reading “Will Libertarianism Survive the 2016 Presidential Election?”

Why Anonymous Cop Expanded Into Satire

For those of you that may not know, I started a satire website a few weeks ago called Blights and Sirens.  If it appeared that the Anonymous Cop blog was being neglected, it had been – but only temporarily.  I just needed some time to get some content rolling on the new site.

My desire to write satire is strange because I don’t read satire.  I never visit sites like The Onion and I’ve never even heard of Duffel Blog until a few months ago.  I understand when fans of this blog claim to be a little disappointed in the direction of satire because it is an acquired taste, but allow me to explain.

Satire has its benefits

I believe satire can be very effective when done right and it serves a purpose. There’s a reason why satire has been around for thousands of years.

I can write a 4,000 word post on a controversial topic here based on experiences that thousands relate to and appreciate, but it also allows a select few to stifle the momentum of its message by rejecting the shared experience as simply unreliable because it lacks research or statistics.

I run into this all the time in Facebook comments on my fan page.  Threatened by a message that gains momentum against their convenient belief systems, they seek out ways to disprove it anyway they can.

For example, in my blogs that touch on race and point out the obvious differences in the behavior between races, critics are quick to point out a lack of official research in my assumptions.  They ignore my experience that happens to be shared and agreed upon by millions and downgrade that evidence as anecdotal – as if I’m the only person in the world who notices that blacks and whites behave differently.

Continue reading “Why Anonymous Cop Expanded Into Satire”

Who Is Anonymous Cop?

No, the title of this blog is not a reference to John Galt – it’s a simple title for a brief bio.

If you are reading this now, you have probably read some of my articles or Facebook posts and are curious to know more about me.  After writing for months now under such a mysterious pseudonym, you deserve to know more – but not everything.

I’ve been a police officer for over a decade in a big city within America’s midwest and every moment of my career has been spent in patrol on the streets.  I’ve never had a desk job or other assignment.  I attempted to veer from patrol one time a few years back and I was the top candidate for a specialized unit, but got rejected in the end because they couldn’t allow another white male in the unit.  White privilege, huh?

Continue reading “Who Is Anonymous Cop?”

The Weakness Of The Middle Ground

Many of my posts seem to elicit the argument from readers that taking one political side is being too extreme and is the wrong direction to take. I often read proud thoughts from commenters about how they exist in “the middle ground” on issues and I read arguments that imply even discussing the existence of a “right” or “left” wing is thinking along the fringe.  It’s even implied from time to time that there is no right or wrong answer to anything, and everything is subjective.  That is very dangerous.

It is imagined that there is some sort of power or morality in sitting on the fence and that being luke-warm is somehow effective. I contend that the middle ground is just a safe ground for those who are afraid.  Sometimes, reality and reason will lead me to the middle ground on issues, but I do not reside there and just grab for arguments that are in reach so as not to appear too extreme.

Political correctness is the enemy that keeps you in the middle. Often, when you get too close to the truth, you are shunned back into the middle ground – right where they want you.  When you get too hot, they cool you down.  Shunning words like “racist” and “fascist” are the buckets of ice water they pour on you to put you back in your place.  Eventually, people give up and settle down comfortably in the middle, and then rationalize its effectiveness – even as the world crumbles around them. This is why we scratch our heads so often and ask ourselves, “How did things get this way?”

Continue reading “The Weakness Of The Middle Ground”